The beginning of the quarter means meeting new people- classmates, students, and professors. We know the drill- introduce ourselves and tell the class what we do. My classmates give such eloquent introductions. They have their elevator pitches polished. I usually say, “I do interfaith studies.” Frankly, it doesn’t sound lyrical or complicated. Often puzzled looks lead to questions. “What do you mean by interfaith?”
Right now I mean interfaith community building is nothing short of radical. Revolutionary. Extraordinary and necessary and dangerous. Creating relationships with people who disagree with our fundamental values sounds difficult and painful. It is, and it can be. But this mixing of unlikely subjects is disruptive. It calls the system and those in power to answer. You see, we have been socialized to stick to “our own kind.” This keeps those in power powerful, and those not in power disjointed. Of course, interfaith community building requires intentional time and real work for authenticity. Putting several “different” people in a room together is not community building.
Today we remembered Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s legacy as a civil rights leader. Except when Dr. King died, he wasn’t a celebrated figure at all. Many literally hated him. The government feared him. Dr. King was a troublemaker of the worst kind. He didn’t demand violence as the way to create change. He used sacred words. He used community. He used prayer. He exegeted and sermonized.
One of the reasons Dr. King earned his menacing reputation was the people with whom he spent his time. Non-Christians, protesters, ex-convicts, journalists. People that the system would gladly have oppose each other, compete with each other, hate each other. Working across these lines caused the real disruption.
This is what I mean by “interfaith.” It’s not warm and fuzzy, not a conversation about our favorite foods or holidays (though awareness is important and helpful for base building). Community building is about shifting our needs from the center of ourselves to the center of the circle. In interfaith work, this means inconveniencing ourselves to get others at the table because representation matters. Community building also demands that we speak our truths and acknowledge when we have harmed. It should be celebratory too- when something joyful happens, we can feel ownership over that joy. This is horrifying to a system that keeps power by managing groups separately. King spoke of a Beloved Community that invoked theological underpinnings. Interfaith communities hold not one sacred claim, but many.
I read several articles about the birth of empathy today. The authors scattered words like compassion, benevolence and pity throughout the text to help us readers understand what sympathy is. The concept of empathy hasn’t existed for very long, but it makes a powerful claim- one that when we take the time to embody someone else’s suffering-to physically and mentally comprehend- it is as if the suffering is our own. I believe empathy evokes a kind of spiritual practice that puts ourselves into the world without apology and fully vulnerable.
Interfaith community building doesn’t require empathy necessarily. We can create strong relationships without fully embodying another’s experience, and often we should refrain from assuming we could ever understand the oppression of another. Empathy does help us disrupt, though. It blurs the lines of responsibility and leadership. At a table full of conflicting convictions, empathy says “you are welcome because you are.”
The Practivist 
Would be fascinated to read those articles…
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I thought this line so powerful: “Community building is about shifting our needs from the center of ourselves to the center of the circle.” And then I was surprised to see the following: This is horrifying to a system that keeps power by managing groups separately,” because I so agree with it yet have never considered it. Thanks for a truthful and powerful post, Jem.
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I am so glad there are people like you out there doing this hard, hard work. Because it’s grueling – to be told that your chosen line is one that people don’t understand or want to hear about…But especially in today’s climate, it is so important that we TRY to learn from and about each other. I am trying to tackle some of these challenges within my own family, as I married a convert who has a large family with many concerns about what a conversion looks like in everyday life. I have been searching for some resources on how best to approach the hard stuff with them – like why we are willing to give them gifts but it’s not our holiday so we may express ourselves differently. Anything you have that could be of help would be SO appreciated!
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Tara! Thanks for your comment, I’m so grateful and you are absolutely right- it is challenging, especially in our own families. I’d be really interested to hear more about your challenges, and how you could be a resource for others! How has your identity shifted in becoming part of a new family? Have you read Being Both by Susan Katz Miller? It’s a wonderful book about interfaith marriage. I also really like bell hooks’ Belonging- the piece about community and equity toward the middle of the book is really useful.
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I haven’t! I’m going to look into those both. I just wrote a piece on what we did this week towards trying to combine our practices I hope you will take a look and i’ll be sure to let you know when I’ve read those two books, thank you for the recommendations!
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Hey Jem!
My name is Tori Wilson and I’m a research assistant helping with a project called American Families of Faith that is studying the relationship between religion and family relationships.
We are looking for happy, stable married couples with at least one child that are highly religious and belong to separate faith communities to participate in our study. Being that your blog is of great influence in your community, I was hoping you may be able to help us find couples who are interested in participating! Participation involves being interviewed together as a couple and it will take approximately two hours of their time. The interview will be conducted via Skype and will involve questions about personal beliefs and family dynamics. Each spouse will receive $35 as compensation. We would greatly appreciate your assistance in identifying a selection of exemplary members of your community who would qualify and be willing to participate.
Please let me know if you are willing to assist us or if you have any questions–you can respond via email or feel free to contact me at my personal phone number (763) 331-2888.
If you are interested in reading some of the papers that have been published through this project feel free to visit http://americanfamiliesoffaith.byu.edu/Main/publications.
Thank you so much for your time! I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
Tori Christensen
American Families of Faith Project
Cell: 763-331-2888
affparticipants@gmail.com
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